I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
