After last night, I could never be a politician.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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