I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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