: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
