loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
