Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
