I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Mom said you looked used
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
