i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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