I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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