So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
