I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
