You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize