this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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