Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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