Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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