i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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