so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
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