Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
