I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
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so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
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She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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