everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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