I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
