Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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