dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
