Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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