my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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