Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I believe in your delicious
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
