weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
