I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
