6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
