He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
i am craving dick and cupcakes
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
