how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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