im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
you would pick up someone in the library
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
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Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
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