Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
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Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
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I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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