Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Randomize
