Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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