well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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