i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
