I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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