And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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