Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
