"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
the condom got lost in my hair
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
