i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
My cat gives me a boner
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Randomize
