can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
