I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
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You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
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It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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