I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
