wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize