I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
