I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
