Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
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you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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