i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
