Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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