4 words: hood of his car
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
