Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize