I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
