i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
