champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
