I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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