I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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