How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize