The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
