Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
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