i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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