remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
