I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
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Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
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If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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